Self-Care Solstice
As we engage with this solstice period and holiday season, many of us are experiencing a multitude of feelings. Joy, overwhelm, excitement, sadness, anxiety- this is all OK, this is normal. This time of year can be a meaningful opportunity to connect with friends and loved ones, but it can also be a catalyst for heightened difficult feelings, as we experience pressure to “perform” feelings, behaviors, and relationships that may not feel authentic to us. If you are experiencing painful or even conflicting emotions, please know you are not alone! Your job during this season is not to uphold the expectations of society, other people, or even yourself. Your job is to ground yourself, to honor yourself and your life exactly as you are right now, and to make choices that are in alignment with your goals and purpose.
Boundaries:
Spending time with family and other loved ones can be complicated. You may find that you have outgrown some relationship patterns and need to shift those dynamics. You may be the only one in your environment who started the process of unlearning destructive patterns and dismantling generational trauma. Try not to have expectations of everyone’s journey and remind yourself to let go of what and who you can’t control. That being said, your peace is sacred, and you may need to set boundaries in relationships as a way to honor your sense of emotional safety and well-being. Boundaries are not a way to control other people. Boundaries are agreements we make with ourselves about what we will and will not accept, and what our response will be when our limits are crossed. They honor our self-worth and create sustainable parameters of engagement with those in our life.
Self-compassion:
Many of us run ourselves ragged to fulfill the expectations that we have placed on ourselves and that society has placed on us. Consider that you have worth just as you are, and not for what you do. Notice when you need a break. Where do you need to ease up on yourself? What are clues that you are feeling burned out? Listen to your body and honor your own humanity. Remember that you are worthy of your own care. Take as many breaks as you need throughout the day to just breathe.
Choices:
For many of us, the holiday season can feel like a blur. Challenge yourself to get out of “auto-pilot” and notice large and small choices that you have. If you are feeling helpless with the demands of loved ones, find small pockets of time for yourself, or notice areas where you are overextending and not honoring your own boundaries. Seek support from your friends, partner, mental health provider, or other loved ones. Also, make sure to use this time to offer yourself love, care and support.
What choices can you make to take care of yourself today?
